Today marks 1 month that daddy died. Been a little emotional on all of us today. Just this morning as I was driving to work and realized it was the 26th, I started telling my dad how much I miss him and wish he was here. That moment, daddy’s snoopy song came on the radio. I pulled over and cried cause I know daddy is here with us but is just in a different way. I was telling a friend the other day that it feels like it just happen. It still feels very “raw.”
There are times where it hits me like a ton of bricks and the realization that when I come home, my dad is not going to be in the living room waiting to hear how my day was. Often, I still get “4” settings for dinner and I find myself wanting to text him in the morning to say hello. The other day I sat in my classroom and looked around and thought about how he was never going to walk into my classroom on a Friday afternoon to help with the decorations for each holiday. I find myself looking at photos just so I can see his face.
I know time will help but for now, I feel the same as I did a month ago — like a part of me is missing because my family did so much together and talked so much that it is strange not to have him here.
I am not sure how we are supposed to feel after a month. Everyone keeps asking and I know it is because they love and care for us. I am so blessed and thankful. I just have learned I have to take a moment at a time. Enjoy the moments I can laugh. Take the moments to remember. Take moments to cry. Take the moments to share. The last month has been a mixture of laughs and tears.
I talk to dad all the time and I know he has visited us in ways he can. I find peace in knowing that Daddy believed in God and that my family will join him one day. Words are hard to describe how it feels. If you have lost a parent(s), you are nodding your head about now.